Jokes

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Dierk Bauer
    Administrator
    • Oct 2012
    • 3595

    #1

    Jokes

    Hi all, did find too some postings in JOKES
    Best wishes, stay safe and take care
    Dierk
  • pete barc
    Senior Member
    • Nov 2012
    • 106

    #2
    New Euro English Language

    Peter Barc on Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:39 pm

    This was mailed to me by fellow member Stavros and had me in stitches :lol: :lol:

    European English :

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility :shock: .

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

    In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
    replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.
    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    I only went to Sea
    To go Ashore

    Peter Barc
    I only went to sea to go Ashore.

    These days when ashore i want to be at Sea.

    Comment

    Working...